What a shame

How to be constant? How to let wisdom guide your steps in life? How to be one and not all those agregates that we are? Some part of myself says 'I am going to stop smoking' but another does the contrary. Yesterday, I was sure I was going to win this battle. It was impossible.
After lunch, I bought one. In the afternoon another, and finally at night another.

ALMOST THERE 2

Yesterday, it was a glorious day, It seemed that I finally had control over cigarette, all day I spent without even thinking on it. At night, after dinner i went to the store and bought one. I light it without noticing what I was doing and I started to smoke it as normal. Suddenly, I realized what i was doing I felt something in my stomach. It was disgusting. So i threw the cigarette away. I am sure that today i am not going to buy a cigarette and that I am going to sing victory!

Almost there

After a busy weekend, I went to the pool on Sunday. Excersise and relaxation did a lot for me. I was decided not to smoke that day, but I not I fell again. I had one cigarrete.
yesterday, Monday, I was so sure that I will never have a cigarrette again but at night it happened once before, I had one.
Today, I feel will be the day!

AWARNESS

"...if you look calmly at undesired events, absorb them mentally, and love yourself for disliking them, you will keep going higher"
Thaddeus Golas

This is probably what I need, to love myself for disliking smoking. How good I feel in the morning when I know that this day I am going to quit that horrible habit.
Yesterday was another failure. I even had more than the days before. I started at lunch with one. At night the desire became unbearable, and I finished having three more.
Today is going to be the day!

A man is...

I remember I read some lines written by Oupenky about Gurdieef's teachings and according to that only the people who are are able to do. It seems that I am not yet, so I can not do.
Yesterday, after the illusion that I can quit smoking, I was relieved during the morning but as soon as I had lunch I run to the store for a cigarette. How sweet it felt, it was heaven.
In the afternoon, I was regreting I smoked.
At night once again, I bought two cigarettes.
Today, I am feeling blue.
I am going to stop smoking today. No promeses!

BLUFF

How far I have got!
Yesterday, I was so sure about quitting smoking that I almost forget how silly our promisses are. I was so happy believing that it was possible. I did not smoke during the day, but at night I could not control myself, I ran to the store and buy two cigarretes. I know two cigarretes seems nothing, but betraying myself is an uneasy situation.
Today is going to be the day that I finally stop smoking.

No more cigarrettes

Since I met my friend Abraham last Sunday. I could noticed how important is to live healthy. He stopped drinking two year ago after a frustrated marriage. Now he has stopped to smoke. Benefits... a lot. I am sure that the people who are able to control some simple aspects of life like these are able to produce changes in the interior and outside the world. My friend and my brother have proved it to me.
My brother after a life of miseries stopped drinking and he became a successful businessman. But beyond any doubt the case of Abraham is amazing. He could not had a child because he had some problems of fertility. Now after two years of not drinking and a year of not smoking he was able to fertilize his wife.
Miracles are possible when you are on the right way and enough effort has done.